autumn in slow motion

 

thats what i feel like my life is like these days:  autumn in slow motion.  I feel like a whole lot of change is happening in my life and a whole lot more is coming.  i dont like change.  i like my safe little world and all the people in it.  i am not particularly looking for new members in my little world (unless you are single, in your 20’s or early 30’s, a boy taller than me and interested in children at some point) and i am not looking for my world to change.  i feel a little like the leaf that is turning colors ever so slowly and clinging onto the tree to avoid the inevitable fall to the ground.  i know that change is what teaches us to trust God and grow as people.  i also get that God is about the journey and adventure, but i am natalie and i prefer destinations and planned stops. 

i dont know what is on the other side of this change, but i have to believe that it is good.  i know that my God has a plan and that He already knows the ending, but a little spoiler wouldnt be turned away!  i worry that the people in my life now will somehow not be there on the other side of all these changes.  what will i look like on the other side, what will my world be like…