Trick or Treat

First, let me say that this has been probably the best halloween that i have ever had!  i spent the evening at the Riddle home hanging out with three children from the daraja african children’s choir.  we had the best time talking and playing with these girls.  there are pictures to come…

i have not posted to the blog in awhile…sorry!  lets just say that God has had me in a very uncomfortable place here lately.  i have felt a little lost following my graduation from mba school and to compound that i have parents who do not understand the whole God thing and therefore they do not understand the whole calling to ministry.  it has been hard for me to hear God because my parents’ (mom mostly) voices has been so loud that it seems to drown out God and any truth i might be hearing.  i have felt like i am a crazy person because i am trying to explain to them what a calling is and how i hear from God and why i am sure that ministry is my calling even though the doors do not seem to be opening.  i have been getting lots of counsel from my fabulous friends, but the thing is i forgot (or did not want to) to ask God.  I think i was afraid of His answer, so i have spent the last two days getting very still and very quiet. 

i am not sure that i have my answer yet, but i do have way more questions.  questions like am i really willing to go anywhere that God calls me?  Am i willing to move away from here, from all the of the people that i love most in the world?  am i willing to face my fear of the unknown and making new relationships to answer a call?  honestly, i dont know.  i am scared out of my mind at the moment that God is calling me away from here and I dont know what to do about it.  i know that if God is calling me away from here that He will take care of me, but right now it just feels like my heart is being ripped from my chest.  i dont know that He is calling me away, but i am wondering if i am reallly willing to go anywhere…

prayers would be appreciated…